


Albus Dumbledore turns back time and punches himself in the face

by limeta



Series: Fixing the Timeline One Punch at a Time [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Ariana Dumbledore Lives, Catharsis, Family, Fix-It, Fluff and Humor, Good Albus Dumbledore, Good Gellert Grindelwald, Good Tom Riddle, Happy Ending, M/M, Professor Tom Riddle, Sane Tom Riddle, Self-Indulgent, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2020-12-22 15:23:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21079028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limeta/pseuds/limeta
Summary: Albus Dumbledore becomes aware of how his actions have caused monumental catastrophe and when he gets his hands on a time-turner, finds that the only logical solution is to go back in time and punch himself in the face. It actually works.





	Albus Dumbledore turns back time and punches himself in the face

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore had a problem with authority. Just a small one. A tinny-ittiy-bitty one.

He found a way to turn back time long-term with time-turners and first thought: Oh, but there are laws against going back and changing things so drastically!

Then the authority problem came into play and Albus Dumbledore _turned_.

He knocked his 1899's self lights out muggle style. Ariana, his sister, lived. Gellert, his boyfriend, looked on in confusion. Aberforth, his goat fucking brother, cursed and went to acquaint himself more intimately with their Billy goat.

The old Dumbledore turned to his then boyfriend and said. ''Stop being a twat, Gellert. Your plans fail and you lose. Apologise to me when I wake up and _stop_.''

Gellert owlishly blinked and formed a question, but Dumbledore wasn't having it.

* * *

Because Albus Dumbledore was the greatest wizard that ever lived – he found a way to jump forward in time into summer of 1938 and knocked his then self's lights out again. Also muggle style (he had two hands and two bloodied knuckles). When he entered Wool's orphanage he didn't burn down anyone's fucking wardrobe, didn't traumatize any wizarding children, and was a kind, old wizardly influence (he had perfect this much after Tom Riddle's time).

Tom Riddle looked on in awe at him, full of a desperate need for validation. Merlin's beard! How had he seen evil incarnate into this child?

''You're going to be great, Tom.'' Dumbledore told the boy gently and ruffled his hair in a way that had made the attention starved orphan flinch away like abused children could. ''There is not a doubt in my mind.''

When parseltongue was mentioned, Dumbledore had smiled and said: ''Perhaps you ought to keep that to yourself. It's not something you broadcast.''

''Okay.'' Tom Riddle whispered obediently.

Smiling reassuringly and twinkling his eyes at the practically hypnotized young lad, Dumbledore decided to talk to his then self.

Red haired Dumbledore watched, conflicted. _''Stop punching me.''_

''When a boy called Tom Riddle goes to Hogwarts you are to be nice to him. Be like the queer uncle he never knew he needed.''

* * *

Before red haired Dumbledore could ask why, time-manipulator Dumbledore jumped forward in time to the year 1993. The year he had first travelled back from. He landed back into his office.

''Ah, he returns.'' Gellert's beautiful voice crooned. That...was a surprising turn of events. Especially when the other figure came into view. Older looking, subdued, and not mad.

Tom Riddle crossed his hands and said. ''Honestly, Albus, what the fuck?'' he sounded like he was trying to imitate the pureblood’s high class drawl, but his cockney heritage shone through at moments like these.

The third and newly noticed figure drew Albus' breath away. It was his sister, old and calm and happy and alive. ''Would you like to explain now? Nobody understood what was happening, just that time travel was involved and that you really felt the need to punch yourself.''

Albus Dumbledore both recalled punching himself and being punched and had to hand it to himself that he had a mean left hook.

''What are we?'' He looked at Gellert.

''Best friends. Obviously our mutual plans for muggle subjugation fell apart and after that fight there were no kindled sparks flying everywhere so we decided to be friends.'' Gellert replied, still looking as sexy as ever. Fucking Adonis.

''And you, Tom?'' Dumbledore asked and looked at the middle aged man with sharp copper eyes and a whole soul.

''I'm Gellert's adopted ward.'' Tom Riddle answered and smiled when Dumbledore had widened his eyes, too astonished to care for propriety.

Oh my. Time travel was strange business. Albus Dumbledore thought.

''Why do you wear the teacher's badge, Tom?''

''I teach Defence at Hogwarts, Albus. Honestly, get with the times.''

''How...?'' Dumbledore turned to Gellert and wondered.

''You kept whinging to me about this one prodigy child you had to be nice to because your future self told you so and I got curious enough to meet the boy.'' Gellert responded. ''That orphanage was a dreadful place for a wizard of any kind to grow up, surrounded by measly muggles and the like. I had to rescue him.''

''Yes, honestly, if I'd spent another day there I would have burned them all down with fiendfyre.'' Tom Riddle said in such a Lord Voldemort way Albus Dumbledore was delighted to note that things had not changed so severely.

''I would have helped you.'' Gellert fondly laughed at the possibility. Tom Riddle snickered like children did when their parents said something funny.

Albus Dumbledore worried what kind of power force he had unleashed upon the world. One dark lord was enough, but two?!

Then he had to remind himself that neither had turned into a dark lord. Which was even more unnerving, but good to know.

''What prompted you into going back in time?'' Ariana asked. ''Why that day?'' she approached and kissed Albus on the cheek while giving him a small, sisterly smile Albus' curse had hit and vanished forever. Tears glistened in Albus Dumbledore's eyes.

''I have class to go to.'' Tom Riddle said, not wanting to be here for this emotional turmoil. ''That Hermione Granger's going to gouge my eyes out with her hand.''

Gellert followed his adopted son lazily out, wanting to stay and eavesdrop, but not wanting to intrude on such a familial moment.

Now that brother and sister were finally alone, Albus whispered the words that had for a very long time haunted him. ''I made a mistake, Ari. I needed to right it.''

''Well, Al, I hope you are happy with the results.'' Ariana said and hugged her big brother tightly. Albus tentatively returned the gesture and whispered that he couldn't be happier.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the fic :D I enjoyed writing this piece a lot .


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